Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
