you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
