his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
