Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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