Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
