He asked me if I "almost moaned"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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