just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
