The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
