Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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