yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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