Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
