Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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