K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
