Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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