Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
