my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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