I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
