Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
