She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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