It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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