We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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