What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
