Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
50% drunk capacity currently
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
