Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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