We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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