omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
