His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
