how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
