I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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