I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
