her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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