i love accidental penises.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
