I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
how do you play pong handcuffed?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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