Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Holy sore nipples Batman
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
