I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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