are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
