Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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