also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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