apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
