Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
