he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
