TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
