Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
