Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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