Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No subtext here. People are naked.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
