we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
