Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
