And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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