you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
