It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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