You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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